Totally and completely serious tonight

If you are seeking wit, please do not read any further. I have no humor today. I am struggling, and I am not sure what to do with this lack of battle. That's right. I said lack of battle. A close family friend committed suicide in June, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to make it better. I prefer a battle. There is at least a small chance that I will win.

Todd was really my husband's friend first, but he was the kind of person that took the time to get to know me as my own person, and I adored him for that. He was polite and selfless. He was handsome and funny. He was a wonderful father, and he was a dumbass with a drug problem.

I say this to draw attention to a point that has always bothered me in stories like this. Somehow, when it's not someone you know personally, that fact that drugs played a factor serves as some sort of reasoning, as though there is suddenly some justice there.

A death is no less tragic if the person had a problem. In many ways, it is even more upsetting.

I want so badly to write about this. I need the release that comes with getting it on paper. But it won't come. This attempt just won't do. There is just no comfort at all.